Price: $6,800,000. Having your own indoor lap pool and adjoining hot tub: Priceless. 

Credit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

Spoiler alert: I don’t have 6.8 million to spend on a house. But that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate this South Granville home currently on the market. Especially because it has a few stand-out features that would have really impressed 13-year-old me.

Credit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

The details: This house on 1128 West 49th Avenue in South Granville was originally completed back in 1997 by Silver Georgie award-winning architect Kingsley Lo and he’s brought a real modern-meets-Mediterranean-resort vibe to the design. It’s a 3-level, 4,962 sq ft house with 5 bedrooms and 6-and-a-half bathrooms—and to me, having bathrooms outnumber bedrooms is an absolute flex unto itself. This listing has a lot of the usual Vancouver real estate suspects: a private patio, fireplace, air conditioning, a 4-car garage and backyard garden space. But there’s one particularly eccentric amenity that really gives it an MTV Cribs– feel. The indoor pool.

Indoor pool and hot tubCredit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

Do you like to swim all year round in the comfort of your own home? Are you an Olympic-level swimmer that’s tired of leaving the house to train? If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions (and also happen to have 6.8 million to spare), you might have the only justifiable reason to buy this house just for its full indoor lap pool. But 13-year-old me would argue otherwise. Bragging rights can be a powerful motivator. And, unlike my community center pool, there are no kids, around-the-clock aquacise or rogue pool noodles to worry about in this pool.  Plus there’s a hot tub right next to the pool so you can do your best hot and cold therapy à la Scandinave Spa. Maybe there’s a way to write this pool off as a medical expense? Where are my pool-based accountants at? I need answers.

Credit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

What at-home spa experience would be complete without—cue the Price Is Right music— a home steam bath and sauna. Is the hefty price tag worth it for the extravagant ability to enjoy different states of water on demand? Debatable. But what’s not up for debate is how cool 13-year-old-me would think this was—but, listen, nobody talks about how hard it can be to clean and maintain these things (that’s obviously current-me chiming in).

Credit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

Another 13-year-old-me plus: the soundproof theatre room right next to the pool. Okay, so it’s a room with a projector on the roof and a screen (and I don’t know how you officially measure soundproof-ness) but you got to admit, saying you have your own private theatre is another pool-sized flex. There’s also a mini wet bar in the media rec room so you don’t have to go all the way upstairs to get a drink (as someone who forgets things all the time, I can appreciate this detail).

Credit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

To round out the house, there’s a kitchen with matching checkerboard flooring and backsplash, tall coffered ceilings (that’s ceiling code for fancy), inlaid marble flooring and some marble columns at the entrance to let your neighbours and mail couriers know this house did not come to play. If you haven’t guessed yet, this house does not do subtle well.

Credit: Photo courtesy of Faith Wilson

Verdict? If you happen to be Micheal Phelps or someone who has always wanted a giant pool in their basement, might be worth checking out this South Granville listing for more information. And please invite me to your pool party.